EST. 2015 BUILT BEFORE YOUR FAVORITE L2

THE CHAIN
YOUR DAD
TRUSTS.

Ethereum has always been run by boomers. We just finally put it on the ticker.

READ THE FINE PRINT ↓
CA
PROOF OF
RETIREMENT
A boomer at a vintage computer printing Boomer Coin coupons
FIG. 01THE ORIGINAL MONEY PRINTER
01 / THE THESIS

A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

ETHEREUM IS
A BOOMER CHAIN.

The founders have become elders. The roadmap needs reading glasses. The gas fees come with a convenience charge.

While younger chains sprint in circles, Ethereum puts on its orthopedic sneakers and walks steadily toward decentralization.

“Slow is smooth.
Smooth is immutable.”— somebody's dad, probably
01OLD MONEY

Freshly printed on continuous stationery.

02OLD TECH

Battle-tested since your modem screamed.

03OLD VALUES

Decentralization. Patience. A sensible polo.

02 / GOVERNANCE

MEET THE DECISION MAKERS

THE FOUNDATION
IS IN GOOD HANDS.

Every protocol needs adult supervision. Preferably adults who still print their boarding passes.

A satirical board meeting of elderly Ethereum decision makers
THE BOOMER COUNCILSpecial session: increasing the font size on Etherscan
MEETING MINUTES

09:00Call to order

09:12Forgot seed phrase

10:45Coffee break

14:30Merge postponed until after nap

NO PRESALE. JUST A COUPON.

CLIP ONE.
YOU'VE EARNED IT.

No points. No complicated quests. No Discord role named “Early Disciple.” Just click the coupon — the printer does the rest. One coupon per transaction, as many transactions as you like.

Boomers relaxing at a satirical Ethereum retirement community
03 / THE ROADMAP

A RESPONSIBLE LONG-TERM PLAN

THE ROAD TO
RETIREMENT.

  1. PHASE 01PRINT THE COUPONSDot matrix. Continuous feed. No cloud required.
  2. PHASE 02CALL THE GRANDKIDSAsk them how to connect the wallet.
  3. PHASE 03LIST THE COINRight after we finish balancing the checkbook.
  4. PHASE 04PROOF OF RETIREMENTStake nothing. Sit comfortably.

TOKEN DETAILS

READING GLASSES
RECOMMENDED.

TICKER$TBC

NETWORKETHEREUM

CONTRACT0x3D62…19D1

CLAIM STATUSPRINTER READY

LIMITS2% MAX TX / 2% MAX WALLET